Self confidence: it’s all in the mind!
- Self confidence is the way we view our capacity to achieve something. If I am high in confidence I will be likely to think I can be a success, that I will be respected and my skills recognised and valued by others. If I have low confidence I may consider my skills or abilities to be deficient in comparison with my peers. Confidence is related to but nevertheless different from self-belief – which is all about how we view ourselves. I might view myself as being as worthy as anyone else but not have the confidence to convey this.
So why do people need to be self assured?
We need self confidence to help us progress and to make the most of the opportunities we are presented with. Self confidence is about knowing deeply that we are competent and able to do all the things everyone else does; it enables us to stretch ourselves, to grow and develop and therefore to feel fulfilled. Low confidence can cause us to become fearful, to become self aware and bashful socially. It can lead to us turning away job opportunities, giving up the chance to do something different, to meet new people or to learn a new skill. This can create tension and frustration inside, causing us to become angry with ourselves for not ‘putting ourselves out there’ or with others for not ‘recognising my worth’. Having a reasonable degree of confidence helps us to experience a sense of well-being, to be physically and mentally healthy and balanced.
Why do some people have less self confidence?
It can merely take one upsetting event to knock someone’s self belief. Perhaps you had difficulties as a child where perhaps friends or siblings made you feel less good about yourself in some way. Sometimes this happens so early that we don’t even remember what caused us to start thinking and feeling in the way that we now do. All we know is that we’ve ‘always felt like this’. Which, in our experience as hypnotherapists (and as mothers!) is invariably not the case, after all, who’s met an unassertive baby?
Sometimes we are unlucky and we’ve experienced multiple knocks to our self confidence. Perhaps a difficult breakup or a few failed romantic liaisons have left you avoiding romantic opportunities you would have formerly taken. The vast majority of time we simply don’t recognise how much life can take its toll on our emotional well being and stop us from moving forward. Many of our clients simply need assistance to recognise the skills, knowledge, expertise and personal qualities they possess and to be able to utilise these to their best advantage.
Signs of low self confidence include: persistent self doubt, avoidance of certain circumstances for fear of feeling uncomfortable, difficulties speaking with confidence, anxiousness, dismissing your own needs or not realising what they are or disregarding or avoiding beneficial opportunities you want to seize, but find something is stopping you.
Everyone is different and this list might not resonate with you at all even though you recognise that you do not have as much confidence as you would like. And this is why cognitive hypnotherapy can be so powerful; it is absolutely tailored to you and how ‘you do your lack of confidence’. Once we know how you do it we can help you to do something different! This in turn, leads to changes in how you think, how you feel and consequently, how you behave. Even little changes can bring big results.
Donna Green of the Odyssey Partnership, Epsom, says ‘Whether you think you have confidence or not, it’s all in the mind. Change your mind and you will find your confidence level changes in response. We can help you to do this just as we’ve done for many other clients’.
We can’t ‘give’ you confidence but we can help point you in the right direction!